“If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” Romans 12:18
“Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another.” Romans 14:19

Recently, a friend noticed that she had left my name off the list of absentees from a board meeting. Bless her heart, she sent an e mail apology to the entire board. I greatly appreciate her sweet disposition and desire to correct the oversight, but I took no offense at all. There was no offense to be taken. There was no reason for any negative reaction.

We live in an atmosphere of hypersensitivity. Many folks seem to look for occasion to assert their victimhood. They seem to search for reasons to feel offended. Think of the recent controversy over the Lebron James magazine cover. Mr. James is not offended, but others are choosing to be offended for him. Some imply he had been used. Or think of the parents who lash out at President Bush because they have lost children in Iraq. As tragic as the losses are, and as much as we may wish that the war had never begun, their children volunteered to serve. They served with honor. Does it honor their memory to portray them as victims and to present their deaths as personal, intentional offenses?

Perhaps we are wiser to think of examples within the church. My name is omitted from the prayer list and the devil whispers, “You know they don’t really love you. You’re not really part of the family. Maybe you should just stay home.” A group of Christians meets for fellowship, and I’m not invited. Again, the devil whispers, “They’re a clique. Their group is ‘members only.’ They’re leaving you out.” If they are, they’re wrong. But could there be other factors in play? They could be forgetful. They could be reciprocating for previous invitations. They could have invited a capacity crowd for this meal, but next time they’ll invite a different group. On top of that, we don’t have to wait to be invited; we can invite.

Thank God that we have been called to victory, not victimhood. Bad things happen to good people. Sometimes, these bad things happen because people are good (1 Peter 4:12-19). Sometimes what looks bad or feels bad to me isn’t really bad at all. It’s neither persecution nor offense. Sometimes, it’s just not what I hoped for or not what I preferred.

We’re blessed to have thick hides and soft hearts. We’re blessed to think the best of others. We’re blessed to be slow to take offense and to be quick to forgive. When we feel offended, it may be that we need to ask the godly question, “Did you mean to offend me?’ If so, it’s occasion for repentance. If not, it’s occasion for reflection and improved communication. We don’t need to walk on eggshells with one another. Nor do we need to choose the eggshell existence of hypersensitivity. Neither makes us better. Neither encourages us. Neither reflects God’s grace and love!
Bill Bagents, The Mars Hill Messenger, May 4, 2008